- a reversed thought process & valley of vision

This morning in Evangelism Jennifer Barrick spoke in our class...a few years ago the Barrick family was hit head-on by a drunk driver going 80 miles per hour. Miraculously, all four of them survived. Jen was in a coma for a few weeks, and when she woke up she, although having suffered massive brain damage & motor skills, she remembered every Bible verse & praise song & woke up speaking of God's goodness...her Mom talked about how after that night their lives have drastically changed- and physical social acceptability is so invaluable compared to how they're able to glorify God & share the gospel with so many now.

TAKE THAT, SOCIAL ACCEPTABILITY!

Here's their website:

http://hopeoutloud.com/index.html

Also, in a conversation Caroline & I had last night she told me about how a friend of hers wrote to her about feeling gawky & awkward frequently. Her reply- JESUS WAS AWKWARD. what?!?

-He hung naked in front of huge crowds on a holiday weekend.

Really.

And we are concerned for how we're viewed by people.

Not that it isn't important to measure our actions-

in Acts 5:14 it describes Peter & other believers --

"the people held them in high esteem."

So, in news of social acceptableness, I didn't do so awesomely today, since i gathered colossal amounts of leaves from gutters & drew ridiculous caricatures of people on Microsoft paint.

Point of this post, though: to UPSET the STATUS QUO FOR JESUS' NAME.

& Now for reformed-ness, some valley of vision

(future hubby, we can read this together on a picnic! ;)

THE PRECIOUS BLOOD:

Blessed Lord Jesus,

Before thy cross I kneel and see
the heinousness of my sin,
my inequity that caused thee to be
"made a curse",
the evil that excites the severity
of divine wrath.
Show me the enormity of my guilt by
the crown of thorns,
the pierced hands and feet,
the bruised body,
the dying cries.
Thy blood is the blood of incarnate God,
its worth infinite, its value beyond all thought.
Infinite must be the evil and guilt
that demands such a price.
Sin is my malady, my monster, my foe, my viper,
born in my birth,
alive in my life,
strong in my character,
dominating my faculties,
following me as a shadow,
intermingling with my every thought,
my chain that holds me captive in the
empire of my soul.
Sinner that I am, why should the sun give me light,
the air supply breath,
the earth bear my tread,
its fruits nourish me,
its creatures subserve my ends?
Yet thy compassions yearn over me,
thy heart hastens to my rescue,
thy love endured my curse,
thy mercy bore my deserved stripes.
Let me walk humbly in the lowest depths
of humiliation,
bathed in thy blood,
tender of conscience,
triumphing gloriously as an heir of salvation.

(The Valley of Vision pg. 74-75, unknown author)

the premise: reformed journals & social acceptableness.

hullo, very small slice of the pie chart that represents the number of people who might so happen to read this sometime. i'd also like to throw out RIGHT NOW that i read a lot of hyperbole & a half & i love it & allie brosh is awesome & she inspired me to actually blog & i'm not as creatively hilarious as she is. however, I know she needs Jesus...so i be prayin for her. yep, so i confess to partial plagiarism because i'm adapting her writing style. not as good with microsoft paint as she is, though!

awhile ago i was facebook chatting with the friend-boy (something we only do every quarter century or so, because, unlike me, he isn't a facebook addict...) & the conversation was much too bland, so I injected what i considered a hilarious clever suggestion-

me: "can we get a pet chinchilla & then when it starts smelling up the house & we can't afford to buy food for it, then we can turn it into a bathmat."

friend-boy: "erm...no, i don't think that'd be socially acceptable."

which got me thinking-- how many other ideas do I have or things do I do that aren't "socially acceptable"?

-it was when i found myself taking off my shoes on my walk back from classes ('cause of blisters, because I HATE SOCKS) or when i put peanut butter on hamburgers or introduced myself via pick-up line to the girl in the cafeteria line & she just looks at me strangely.

the day after wearing my hello kitty flannel pajama shirt to class, I resolved to be more socially acceptable!

So, instead of eating lemon juice class packets in class because I'd missed breakfast, I calmly chewed a piece of Orbit. Instead of introducing myself via pick up line, I segwayed (sp?) into it much more conventionally....well, almost. If paraphrase quoting Disney movies is conventional.
Mulan: "I see you have a sword...so do I. They're so...manly..."
"I see you have an I.D. card...so do I. They're so...college student-y..."


I shall carry on!

Also, more to come on reformed girl journal. For now, I'm just gazing wistfully at my tulips & thinking about John 17, augustine, & the total depravity of my heart & how much I need the blood of Jesus in every moment. praises up for grace upon grace from our good God, amen? AAAMMEEEN!!!!!!!!!

<3,

em

p.s. do I look socially normal nomming on that apple? ;)

relient k wasn't exaggerating (;

someone please save us, us college kids!
what my parents told me is what i did
they said go to school and be a college kid
but in the end i question why i did

i'm poor, i'm starving, i'm flat broke, i've got no cash to spend
sell all my books for front row tickets to dave matthews band
my girlfriend's at another school, i know this year will test her
i called, found out she had three other boyfriends last semester

and that's why i say
oh no! not for me, not for me
call it torture, call it university
no! arts and crafts is all i need
i'll take calligraphy and then i'll make a fake degree

80 grand later i found out that all that i had learned
is that you should show up to take your finals and your midterms
the party scene is kinda mean, i think it's sick and twisted
the navy showed up at my dorm and claimed that i enlisted

and that's why i say
oh no! not for me, not for me
call it torture, call it university
no! arts and crafts is all i need
i'll take calligraphy and then i'll make a fake degree

don't get excited. she'll say "no" without a doubt you see
and i've decided college girls just won't go out with me
they make me nervous and they always catch me off my guard
like cell phone services i drop out cause college is too hard

it's time to call my father
cause it's his alma mater
good grades aren't what they seem
i think he knows the dean
it's time to call my father
cause it's his alma mater
he says he's proud of me
but college always was his dream
and i would always say it's not for me

oh no! not for me, not for me
call it torture, call it university
no! arts and crafts is all i need
i'll take calligraphy and then i'll make a fake degree

someone please save us, us college kids!
what my parents told me is what i did
they said go to school and be a college kid
but in the end i question why i did

do what will make you happy
do what you feel is right
only but one thing matters
learn how to live your life

[in background:]
(phi, beta, delta, cappa
someone please save us, us college kids!
what my parents told me is what i did
they said go to school and be a college kid
but in the end i question why i did)

do what will make God happy
do what you feel is right
only but one thing matters
learn how to live your life

geometry was never my strong point....

WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS SUMMER '10:

-common enemy bonded the family together-

3rd & 4th graders wrote each other weird notes:

"when i'm old i'll have 100 cats."

"what will you name them?"

"sweet stuff."

"all of them?"

"no. only 50. the other 50 i will name bob?"

"what do you think about boys?"

"I have not yet gotten to the point of liking boys."

JENNY HEMPEN-

is amazing. cheyenne hilary is her car- explanation's in my head.

-as for the love triangle, it's more of an invisible straight line now...

hence the title. all you team members of each side just settle down. kind of.

God does everything with His glory in mind. But His love & salvation does glorify Him. it also illuminates our hearts.

depth of sin in my heart, depth of mercy from His stores.

*happy sigh*

college this time next week.

His love endures forever.

(for the nickname-less one)

[Starry-eye & terrified, because I haven't been in a snowstorm since the last decade. I squint my eyes & see a chocolate in the snow, bite into it & find a scrap of paper in the center with just a heart drawn on it. Then I look up & see the light outside your window, & begin to hope that the next decade a snowstorm comes around, we're out in it together]

books/music/associativeness

Since i typically listen to music while I'm reading, sometimes a song that comes on during the book connects in my head to the plot line. Or I'll hear a song later on after finishing the book & my mind will associate the book plot with the plot of the song.

List of books/songs I've done that with:

We The Living, by Ayn Rand/Lisztomania, by Phoenix
(the "from the mess to the masses" line made me think of Kira wandering streets in Russia & dreaming about being an architect.

The Thief/The King of Attolia/The Queen of Attolia, Megan Whalen Turner/It's All Been Done, Barenaked Ladies-

(a bit of an unlikely match-up, since the book series takes place in a sort of ancient Greece setting, but the weird romance in the song reminds me of the weird love-saga between Eugenides & Attolia...cynical, but a realistic process.)

Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card/Fun & Games, Barenaked Ladies (again)

-Just paralleled the alien theme & the government being so flippant with the cadet's lives.

East of Eden,John Steinbeck/Hurtin' You, Ben Kweller

- After Una Hamilton dies & it hits Samuel Hamilton really hard & in turn it causes fault lines to form among the whole Hamilton family...that's what this song reminds me of about East of Eden ("you're the only one who can pull it through...", etc.)

Perhaps the oddest match-up of all? (I actually was listening to this album while reading the book) :

The Brother's Karamazov, Dostoevsky/This Ain't Goodbye, Train:

We were stars up in the sunlit sky
No one else could see
Neither of else ever thought to ask why
It wasn't meant to be
Maybe we were way too high
To ever understand
We were victims of all the foolish plans
We began to divide ...

Because between Katerina & Dmitri is basically that same dialogue. More how Katerina feels, like a victim of foolish plans they divided.

-Eitherways, how minds associate random things with other random things & connect them can be pretty fascinating...

[driving out of neverland in a boring car]

Today it hit me that I was almost-completely driving out of Neverland in a boring car when I ate an apple recently & peeled the sticker off without even thinking about it.

Reason: I haven't peeled a sticker off of an apple. EVER. I always make a priority of eating it (even if I'm by myself) & if there are people there, they always ask me why & I tell them it's just a weird tradition.

*Sigh. Suppose my time had to come, but I didn't want it to be so very quick....