If i could make you come back with just one stanza I'd write you one with words like 'maddeningly' ('no!', you'd say, 'don't be so dramatic, craze.')
-with Spanish accent marks misplaced over every syllable
i'd use colors like carnelian
& add in everything I remember saying that ever
made you laugh.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
i am so happy.
[read title]
& it's because of salvation. it lies in Your love, Jesus.
mad future-complexity.
Jesus wins. Love does conquer all. Injustice & loneliness & deserts & death.
...& in other news, today i saw a car swerve to avoid hitting a vulture/buzzard-thing as it snatched up an armadillo corpse. zombie film, animal style. right before my very eyes.
20 days 'til white sulphur springs, one of my favorite places on the swiftly tilting planet.
<3
& it's because of salvation. it lies in Your love, Jesus.
mad future-complexity.
Jesus wins. Love does conquer all. Injustice & loneliness & deserts & death.
...& in other news, today i saw a car swerve to avoid hitting a vulture/buzzard-thing as it snatched up an armadillo corpse. zombie film, animal style. right before my very eyes.
20 days 'til white sulphur springs, one of my favorite places on the swiftly tilting planet.
<3
Friday, June 18, 2010
so many of us dream of you
i'm afraid you won't see the sun
i'm afraid you won't taste the summer
i'm afraid you won't feel my heart
beating next to yours.
i'm sick of all the lies,
i'm sick of too much talk,
i'm sick of everybody saying
that there's not enough room.
so many empty arms.
so many vacant hearts.
so many of us dream about you
and would die to hold you.
so
i will go to war for you.
i will not give up on you.
i will not stop burning for you
or weeping.
i'm afraid you won't taste the summer
i'm afraid you won't feel my heart
beating next to yours.
i'm sick of all the lies,
i'm sick of too much talk,
i'm sick of everybody saying
that there's not enough room.
so many empty arms.
so many vacant hearts.
so many of us dream about you
and would die to hold you.
so
i will go to war for you.
i will not give up on you.
i will not stop burning for you
or weeping.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
love.loss.hope.repeat? not anymore
title says most of what's on my mind.
deep love owed to Jesus because life without him is :
finding fulfillment in human love for even a few months, then it'd crash & days would get longer & longer & the nights would be quickly gone...the cycle kept going & going on 'til Jesus stepped in.
(so there's alots of background & details i'm not shading in, because sin has lost its power & significance.)
now life is light, because God is light, & in Him is no darkness AT ALL.
cate gets married in THREE DAYS.
deep love owed to Jesus because life without him is :
finding fulfillment in human love for even a few months, then it'd crash & days would get longer & longer & the nights would be quickly gone...the cycle kept going & going on 'til Jesus stepped in.
(so there's alots of background & details i'm not shading in, because sin has lost its power & significance.)
now life is light, because God is light, & in Him is no darkness AT ALL.
cate gets married in THREE DAYS.
Monday, June 7, 2010
stream of consciousness yeaaah
watched zombieland tonight. hilarious.
spanish parties be a bit crazy at times...they have second dinner at 3 am- burgers on the grill. for once i was at one of the parties the neighbors wish wasn't happening :P
aaand caroline e. pilgrim is amazin'. best road trip partner alive.
= 1 flat tire, 2 pilgrims, 3 tattoos on mike who helped us, four diet cokes before 10 am ;)
alot of other good quotes. so you had to be there. who cares.
herb is pronounced HERB. not urb. oops.
maggie miller is also a great woman.
it be 2 am.
in two months i'm going to COLLEGE.
this is scary.
(& since this is a blog i can be selfish & talk about just myself. ain't that the point of most blogs? heh)
wells, i miss all the people i can't be with all at once.
aye.
spanish parties be a bit crazy at times...they have second dinner at 3 am- burgers on the grill. for once i was at one of the parties the neighbors wish wasn't happening :P
aaand caroline e. pilgrim is amazin'. best road trip partner alive.
= 1 flat tire, 2 pilgrims, 3 tattoos on mike who helped us, four diet cokes before 10 am ;)
alot of other good quotes. so you had to be there. who cares.
herb is pronounced HERB. not urb. oops.
maggie miller is also a great woman.
it be 2 am.
in two months i'm going to COLLEGE.
this is scary.
(& since this is a blog i can be selfish & talk about just myself. ain't that the point of most blogs? heh)
wells, i miss all the people i can't be with all at once.
aye.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Grace Upon Grace
Grace upon Grace
Sandra McCracken
In every station, new trials and new troubles
Call for more grace than I can afford
Where can I go but to my dear Savior
For mercy that pours from boundless stores.
Grace upon grace, every sin repaired
Every void restored, you will find Him there
In every turning He will prepare you
With grace upon grace.
He made a way for the fallen to rise
Perfect in glory and sacrifice
In sweet communion my need He supplies
He saves and keeps and guards my life
To Thee I run now with great expectation
To honor You with trust like a child
My hopes and desires seek a new destination
and all that You ask Your grace will provide.
Sandra McCracken
In every station, new trials and new troubles
Call for more grace than I can afford
Where can I go but to my dear Savior
For mercy that pours from boundless stores.
Grace upon grace, every sin repaired
Every void restored, you will find Him there
In every turning He will prepare you
With grace upon grace.
He made a way for the fallen to rise
Perfect in glory and sacrifice
In sweet communion my need He supplies
He saves and keeps and guards my life
To Thee I run now with great expectation
To honor You with trust like a child
My hopes and desires seek a new destination
and all that You ask Your grace will provide.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Justice smiles & asks no more
"The Premise:
Let Us love & sing & wonder (Jars of Clay)
Let us wonder grace and justice
Join and point to mercy's store
When through grace in Christ our trust is
Justice smiles and asks no more
& Justice is truly what we deserve. Upon examining (& not skimming over any details) our hearts, we find alot of scary hidden slime there. 'Course, that's why it's hidden.
"The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?"
The Story -Mine
& as a white, part-of-arich-family American, my experiences have been pretty clean- leastways, I never woke up to a gunshot, had an intensely loved one die.....nevertheless, I lie every two seconds, & this year hid a million lies from my family &...I'd have liked to think...from God. er, no-- He knew every time I lusted after impure things, & every time I carried through with those thoughts, indulging my selfish heart & recklessly breaking my own heart & hurting people & dishonoring God's name.
"O Jerusalem, wash your heart from evil,
that you may be saved.
How long shall your wicked thoughts
lodge within you?" (Jeremiah 4)
He knew. & He didn't want me to continue on in ignorant darkness & false passion. That's where the crazy story comes in.
Somehow I got to White Sulphur Springs this summer (wells, it was completely God who got me there)
Being around so many godly people, reading so much Word, etc. made me realize that you cannot serve two things-
you can't worship fake love & yet still expect experience the legit. love of Christ.
*BAM*
so when I got home, alot of things CHANGED. a secret relationship ended, & the painful process of striking-and-healing started:
"And the LORD will strike Egypt, striking and healing, and they will return to the LORD, and he will listen to their pleas for mercy and heal them." (Isa. 19)
'Course, making the truth about my sin COMPLETELY known to those who needed to know it took awhile-
it's only been a couple weeks since I confessed everythin' to mum & dad-
Since then, it's also the realization that many people see this salvation as foolishness-
1 Cor. 2:14,
"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."
I meet many people like this daily. But God DOES NOT take pleasure in the death of the wicked-
(Ezekiel 18:23)
"Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?"
Exactly.
This was alot of rambling, & mayhaps only Cate will read this.
But Jesus is God, & there is no other.
He's changed my life in unexplainable ways, so if you don't understand, that's not unsurprising.
"The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising Jesus from the dead." -Acts 17
-em & em
Let Us love & sing & wonder (Jars of Clay)
Let us wonder grace and justice
Join and point to mercy's store
When through grace in Christ our trust is
Justice smiles and asks no more
& Justice is truly what we deserve. Upon examining (& not skimming over any details) our hearts, we find alot of scary hidden slime there. 'Course, that's why it's hidden.
"The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?"
The Story -Mine
& as a white, part-of-arich-family American, my experiences have been pretty clean- leastways, I never woke up to a gunshot, had an intensely loved one die.....nevertheless, I lie every two seconds, & this year hid a million lies from my family &...I'd have liked to think...from God. er, no-- He knew every time I lusted after impure things, & every time I carried through with those thoughts, indulging my selfish heart & recklessly breaking my own heart & hurting people & dishonoring God's name.
"O Jerusalem, wash your heart from evil,
that you may be saved.
How long shall your wicked thoughts
lodge within you?" (Jeremiah 4)
He knew. & He didn't want me to continue on in ignorant darkness & false passion. That's where the crazy story comes in.
Somehow I got to White Sulphur Springs this summer (wells, it was completely God who got me there)
Being around so many godly people, reading so much Word, etc. made me realize that you cannot serve two things-
you can't worship fake love & yet still expect experience the legit. love of Christ.
*BAM*
so when I got home, alot of things CHANGED. a secret relationship ended, & the painful process of striking-and-healing started:
"And the LORD will strike Egypt, striking and healing, and they will return to the LORD, and he will listen to their pleas for mercy and heal them." (Isa. 19)
'Course, making the truth about my sin COMPLETELY known to those who needed to know it took awhile-
it's only been a couple weeks since I confessed everythin' to mum & dad-
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” –James 5:16.
God Blesses godly sorrow that leads to repentance. & As Martin Luther, in the 1st of the 95 Theses, wrote,
Since then, it's also the realization that many people see this salvation as foolishness-
1 Cor. 2:14,
"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."
I meet many people like this daily. But God DOES NOT take pleasure in the death of the wicked-
(Ezekiel 18:23)
"Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?"
Exactly.
This was alot of rambling, & mayhaps only Cate will read this.
But Jesus is God, & there is no other.
He's changed my life in unexplainable ways, so if you don't understand, that's not unsurprising.
"The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising Jesus from the dead." -Acts 17
-em & em
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